The Biggest Reason We Can’t Move On Is Rooted In Our Childhood

Hi. Cellophane here.

We may not realize it, but every moment we live through, from being fetuses in the womb until the moment we grow old enough to embark on our own adventure of life, has an effect on the person we become as adults.

I know that everybody has different beliefs when it comes to regression therapy, but I tried it once with a YouTube video I once saw featuring Brian Weiss, an American psychiatrist who uses hypnotherapy to help patients delve into their past lives. Before I watched the video, I thought it might be impossible to actually experience anything. As I closed my eyes, followed Weiss’s instructions, and drifted off to several different stages of my past life, including a moment of myself in the womb, I came to realize that my time in the womb was turbulent.

What I remember the most about my time under hypnosis was the dread and isolation I felt while he made us go back to the womb. As I came back from that moment, tears fell from my eyes involuntarily. I had no control. I just felt so much sadness and the sense of being suffocated, like I wasn’t wanted.  It drove me to ask my mom if there were problems with my dad before I was born or if there was ever talk of me perhaps being aborted. She looked at me and didn’t answer, but deep down in my gut, I knew there was some truth to my question.

My whole life is not decided by that single experience, but it explains as I try to remember my childhood. A lot of bad things happened to me as a kid that I’ve created a wall to block out my memories to the point that I don’t remember years at a time. I remember some things because I’ve been told stories, but I only seem to remember the bad stuff. It’s weird. There are also moments where I feel as if I might have been molested or sexually abused in my youth because I don’t like people touching me. It bothers me a lot, but I truly don’t know.

After all of my experiences, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is quite difficult to move on when our childhoods are riddled with events that were out of our control because of the decisions our parents, guardians, or relatives made. It’s something we have to move forward with so we can embrace the past.

I may not have been wanted, but I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.  I might as well reduce my agony and try to overcome the demons of my past so I can enjoy the future.

Being positive is sure to bring good things. As much as my life brings me down, at least I’m still physically and mentally capable to change the course my life has taken.

Let me know your experience with past life regression and what your childhood was like in the comments or send me an email if you’d like. 

How To Remember The Good And Forget The Bad?

Hi. Cellophane here.

I should apologize for my last post. I was extremely aggravated with my home situation, but I will not delete it because that would be dishonest. I’m only human and I can’t hide the way I feel sometimes.

I’ve been better than that last time I was on here. The problems aren’t gone, but at least I’m still alive and physically able to change things. As I’ve said before, I have a lot of money problems.

My family is killing me slowly, but I can’t change the people in my life only my reaction to them. I’ve been trying to apply Mel Robbin’s 5-4-3-2-1 method, but sometimes I just think, “What now?”

So how do you remember the good and forget the bad?

You can’t forget the bad because it helps balance out the good. You have to embrace the bad to appreciate the good. Just like my last post, I have to embrace that those dark feelings exist within me. At the same time, I have to understand that the days that are good may be few and spread far apart, but they do come and I’ve had several over my lifetime.

Try not to get hung up on the bad vs good dichotomy of life. I’ll try to do the same and just live. Maybe coasting in the middle of these two extremes, but still living.

Thanks for reading!

How To Take Your Broken Heart And Make It Into Art

Hi. Cellophane here.

I’ve been trying to be more positive in my life and forget all the issues I have so that I can move forward and do better. I don’t know if I’m doing a good job, but I’m trying. There was a time in my youth where I used to cut myself. Nowadays, I just can’t bring myself to do it because it doesn’t relieve my stress anymore. Even if I bleed and get that rush of dopamine that I so desperately need to stay afloat, it won’t make my problems go away. I’ve had to learn the hard way that problems never leave so you have to embrace them.

People come and go every day and it makes me wonder what I will leave behind when I die. What will be my legacy or my one bit of history that will define future generations? It’s moments like these that remind me of Carrie Fisher’s quote, “Take your broken heart and make it into art.”

My heart has been broken since I was 9 years old when I witnessed things no child should have to see and have had to deal with the consequences of my parent’s failed marriage for the last 17 years of my life. How can you piece together your soul when it’s being ripped apart in so many directions without stopping?

I swear to you that I’m trying to be positive, but sometimes I just wonder how easy life would be if I had successfully killed myself when I was 12. My brother would’ve been an only child, maybe my parents would’ve recapacitated and solved their problems. My sister wouldn’t have been born and wouldn’t have to suffer the heartbreak of having two parents who can’t even be in the same room.

A lot of things would be different, but I can’t change the past. I can only change the way I perceive it and use it to fuel my desire to do better in the future.

We’ll see.

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